Heart

Six and a half more weeks till your due date. You're about 17 inches, 4 1/2 pounds and growing. The "limited real-estate," I spoke about weeks ago was considerably over exaggerated compared to the available real-estate space now. You're constantly moving around, adjusting your position and even giving a kick or two to my organs or ribs to let me know you're there. In fact, you're kicking me right now. Your kicks are like very strong heart beats. I'm watching my stomach move and it's like watching a cartoon character's heart beating so rapidly that you can see it pounding from outside it's chest. Sometimes, when I'm in meetings, I wonder if anyone else notices you moving. I have 13 more work days before I get to kick my feet up and just wait for you. I'm looking forward to that. It'll give me time to finish preparing for you, do something special with your brother and sister and pack my hospital bag! You're the heart of this family and I know when you arrive you'll be so loved.

I love you,
Mommy

Chanelly, I'm taking you night swimming for your first time. I wonder if my belly with float! Xo

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Braxton Hicks

I don't remember it feeling this bad. I was up all night with braxton hicks. The pain radiating through my spine, the nauseas burn formatting in my stomach and the runs..yep pregnancy is not always dignified. But its my body's way of getting prepared for you, combined with its natural reaction to pain. I don't like the discomfort, but it reminds me that I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy and you'll be here soon, which makes any discomfort or pain I've felt seem insignificant. And since I'm not feeling so hot right now, I have to remember why I'm doing this all, which is to meet you and be your mommy. I love you Chanel.

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It's getting hard to breath

I feel the pressure under my ribs, and I can actually feel you pressing my intestines and stomach and it hurts in an uncomfortable way. The bigger you get, the harder it is to breath. Hopefully you'll change positions soon so I can get some relief. I've been thinking about labor and I'm getting nervous. It's been almost 7 years since I gave birth, and in about 8 weeks, I'll be doing it all over again. There are so many unknowns..like who will be there when you're born, and if I'll be in labor alone, who will watch your brother and sister, and will anyone stay overnight with us in the hospital? Today I went to the doctor. You're doing well, heartbeat strong, head down and growing just like you should be. My blood pressure is low, which is positive when paired with my excessive swelling. Four more weeks until I am able to stop work, unless my blood pressure goes up at all. The doctor said I need to delegate when I'm at home, for my husband to take care of the kids, so I can put my feet up and relieve some of the swelling. I told her that I'm doing this all alone; that that wasn't the intended plan, but that's the way it worked out. She said that's a lot for me, and I agreed. I was laying on the doctor's table, listening to your heartbeat as we spoke. I could feel a surge of emotion rush through my face and tears about to form, but I maintained a steady voice and forcefully stopped myself from crying. I never imagined being completely unsupported, but as I sit today, I am. Me nine years ago, pregnant with your brother, wouldn't be able to handle this. Me today, pregnant with you, is stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. Tomorrow is my birthday. It's really just another day for me, and more of a dedication to my mother because without her, I wouldn't have your brother, sister or you and I'm incredibly thankful for that. Well, I'm going to feed you and me now.

I love you, Mommy

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History in the making

One of the worst terrorist ever seen in my time is dead; Osama Bin Laden is dead! The world is in an uproar with emotions...American's excited and celebrating...and others around the world preparing themselves for reactions; suicide bombers and possible terrorists revolting. The president is about to speak on TV to give more details. I'm watching history in the making, and you're snuggled away in my tummy with no idea what's going on. I'm thrilled to know that one less evil will be in this world when you're born. I love you, Mommy.

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