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Sunday, June 19, 2011
heartburn city
I've been up all night. Resting on the lovely combo of mint tea/vanilla cream and Hemingway to put me down. The tums have ran out and my midday nap isn't helping. Plus I've got a lot on my mind. Mainly Chanel and when she'll be ready to come. She's moved her way down and is applying mounds of pressure on my bone. My body's tired, too bad my mind isn't because I'd like to sleep when everyone is asleep. Until then, it's 1920's Paris nightlife and the soothing warmth of the tea I just drank coating my belly.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
It's like I've been in labor for the last 6 days. I can feel my body preparing itself for delivery. I don't know if it's because I'm 7 years older than the last time I was pregnant, or maybe I forgot some of what this feels like, or possibly this pregnancy is unique, but the end of this pregnancy is so much more intense on my body than the last two pregnancies. I'm ready to push for the last time and feel her entering the world, as one journey ends and another one begins. I've been thinking a lot about her birth and what it means to be a mother. The responsibility. The love. The sacrifice. The joy. And I just can't wait to be her mother.
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Thursday, June 16, 2011
Still Pregnant.
Went to the doctor this morning - BP was 110/70, which is good. My cervix is dilated to 3, but I'm only about 50% effaced, which made it difficult for the doctor to access and scrap the mucous membrane. The left hip has been giving me almost unbearable pain, but it's not enough of a reason to send me to the hospital. I go back to the doctor on Tuesday, approaching 39 weeks, where we'll make plans for induction. In about 8 more days Chanel will be here, if she doesn't come on her own before then. I sit in my rocking chair, and stare at her crib, where she'll soon be. I look at her mobile hanging over it and imagine a teeny-tiny baby looking towards the rotating butterflies, as she listens to a soft soothing lullaby for the first time. All the preparations I've made for her, the love put into ensuring she arrives into a world where she has everything she needs. The long nights we'll have, the moments of knowing I created something amazing, the blessed feeling I'll have when I see her...it's all about to be here.
Anxiously awaiting this next week...
Anxiously awaiting this next week...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Update!
Lots has happened since my last post. Over a week ago, the doctor confirmed that I'm not just borderline Pre-eclampsia, but I indeed have the disease. Since then, I've been on watch for potential induction, with four visits to the doctor (two in one day) and one to the hospital. Even though all the Pre-eclampsia symptoms were present...high blood pressure, excessive swelling, protein in the urine (which indicates a rise in liver enzyme levels), a headache incurable by Tylenol and visual disturbances (flashing, spotted light), the blood test reported the liver and kidneys weren't "that bad yet." And since I was two days shy of 37 weeks, we decided to wait on inducing. I guess we wait for my organs to get worse, or wait for 39 weeks when the doctor can safely induce me (which is about 9 days from now) - or alternatively, maybe the baby will just come on her own.
Over the weekend, I rested - read a lot, lounged a lot, laid in bed a lot...I wasn't feeling too great, so naturally, Monday's doctor's visit would confirm that the Pre-eclampsia had gotten worse. But I guess all the resting did me good because my blood pressure was surprisingly low. Not that I wanted it to be high, but I had anticipated being induced and when I found out I wasn't going to be (not that day anyway) I was a little disappointed. But when the doctor checked my cervix, to my surprise, I went from a fingertip dilated to over two, practically three centimeters dilated in just four days. With my first pregnancy, I was three centimeters dilated, and in the hospital with an epidural. How was I now really walking around that "open?" Maybe labor was closer than I thought.
All Monday I began to feel bouts of pressure on my vaginal bone, which only added to the bruising feeling I've had over the last several weeks. The pressure was paired with dull aches in my lower back, tightness in my spine and occasional sharp stabbing sensations through my hips. I began to feel incredibly nauseated. Could I be in labor? That night, I slept sitting up in a chair, my feet and legs stretched out onto an ottoman, eventually going numb. I could feel my hips spreading, loosening, preparing for Chanel's arrival.
Nickel size chunks of brown tinged mucous and or clear pieces with blood began to excrete themselves from my vagina. This carried through Tuesday and seemed to only make my hips feel more tender and out of place. But no baby. I decided to go to the chiropractor for a thirty minute massage and adjustment (anything to band-aide the pain). It helped, for maybe an hour and then back to the stabbing hip sensations that left me unable to walk without loudly vocalizing the pain, as I held onto doorways, furniture and walls, just to make it to my frequent bathroom visits, which weren't only a representation of my nine month pregnant bladder, but now accompanied loose stools.
It's Wednesday, and my water is still intact. I'm bruised, have limited circulation, pain throughout my entire body, random heartburn and I've now mastered the ability to waddle - not even because I'm nine months pregnant and have a watermelon sized stomach, but because my hips are on the verge of breaking and it's the only logical way (ha) to get around without completely killing them.
I go to the doctor tomorrow, where she's going to "strip my membrane." It may just be the one thing that sends my body into natural labor. How am I looking forward to this? I guess when you can leave impression marks in your swollen legs, that last several seconds, just by slightly applying pressure with your finger, and your skin from your knees to the top of your feet are so tight it feels as though it could rip at any given time, you'd do just about anything to relieve the discomfort...even if it's a few minutes of feeling like your doctor has her hand in your stomach by way of your vagina, as she scraps out the remains of your mucous plug.
Oh joy.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Over the weekend, I rested - read a lot, lounged a lot, laid in bed a lot...I wasn't feeling too great, so naturally, Monday's doctor's visit would confirm that the Pre-eclampsia had gotten worse. But I guess all the resting did me good because my blood pressure was surprisingly low. Not that I wanted it to be high, but I had anticipated being induced and when I found out I wasn't going to be (not that day anyway) I was a little disappointed. But when the doctor checked my cervix, to my surprise, I went from a fingertip dilated to over two, practically three centimeters dilated in just four days. With my first pregnancy, I was three centimeters dilated, and in the hospital with an epidural. How was I now really walking around that "open?" Maybe labor was closer than I thought.
All Monday I began to feel bouts of pressure on my vaginal bone, which only added to the bruising feeling I've had over the last several weeks. The pressure was paired with dull aches in my lower back, tightness in my spine and occasional sharp stabbing sensations through my hips. I began to feel incredibly nauseated. Could I be in labor? That night, I slept sitting up in a chair, my feet and legs stretched out onto an ottoman, eventually going numb. I could feel my hips spreading, loosening, preparing for Chanel's arrival.
Nickel size chunks of brown tinged mucous and or clear pieces with blood began to excrete themselves from my vagina. This carried through Tuesday and seemed to only make my hips feel more tender and out of place. But no baby. I decided to go to the chiropractor for a thirty minute massage and adjustment (anything to band-aide the pain). It helped, for maybe an hour and then back to the stabbing hip sensations that left me unable to walk without loudly vocalizing the pain, as I held onto doorways, furniture and walls, just to make it to my frequent bathroom visits, which weren't only a representation of my nine month pregnant bladder, but now accompanied loose stools.
It's Wednesday, and my water is still intact. I'm bruised, have limited circulation, pain throughout my entire body, random heartburn and I've now mastered the ability to waddle - not even because I'm nine months pregnant and have a watermelon sized stomach, but because my hips are on the verge of breaking and it's the only logical way (ha) to get around without completely killing them.
I go to the doctor tomorrow, where she's going to "strip my membrane." It may just be the one thing that sends my body into natural labor. How am I looking forward to this? I guess when you can leave impression marks in your swollen legs, that last several seconds, just by slightly applying pressure with your finger, and your skin from your knees to the top of your feet are so tight it feels as though it could rip at any given time, you'd do just about anything to relieve the discomfort...even if it's a few minutes of feeling like your doctor has her hand in your stomach by way of your vagina, as she scraps out the remains of your mucous plug.
Oh joy.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
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